← When I Lose It · Lesson 2 of 3
Your own pause
A pause is a small, planned step out of the moment. It works best when it is short, the same each time, and said out loud: "I am getting cross. I am going to have a drink of water, and then we will sort this out."
Saying it out loud does two things. It tells the child what is happening, so your leaving the room is not a mystery. And it shows them the very thing you want them to learn.
Keep the child safe while you pause. With a small child that may mean staying in the room and only turning away to breathe. The pause is for you; it never leaves them alone and unsafe.
You feel your temper rising while your six-year-old refuses to get dressed. Which is the better pause?
A lesson is kept once you've answered the question and written at least 8 words. Nobody grades it; it stays on this device.