Pretending fairly

Moving a small piece slowly, the way a strong one would move, is a bluff — and in this kind of game it is fair. Both players agreed to it by sitting down to play. Inside that agreement, pretending is part of the game rather than a trick on a person.

Outside it, the same move would be deception. That is why, when you play with someone new to the game, especially a child, it helps to say the frame out loud first: "pretending is allowed in this game, for both of us."

Younger children find this harder with people they know well than with strangers, so an explicit agreement matters more, not less, at home.