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When I Lose It

Three short lessons on the grown-up's own big feelings: spot your early signs, take your own pause, and repair afterwards with a child. Calm is something you practise, not something you have to be.

For grown-ups, from what MendMates teaches children at Spark & Anvil.

  1. Lesson 1Your early signs
  2. Lesson 2Your own pause
  3. Lesson 3The repair
At the table · two grown-ups, or a grown-up and an older child

Practise the repair

You'll need: a small card each with the four words: name · own · sorry · again.

  1. One person describes a small everyday moment when they lost their temper (a real one, or a made-up one).
  2. The other person says the repair out loud, using the card: name what happened, own it, say sorry, invite them back.
  3. Swap. Try one repair that also keeps a fair limit ("…and we still need to…").
  4. Stop while it still feels easy. Keep the card somewhere you will see it.

Print the guidebook (all lessons + the table activity) →