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When a Friend Is Struggling

Four short lessons for parents of teens: how a teen can help a struggling friend without becoming their therapist, when to bring in an adult, and how to talk about phones and tracking without a lecture.

For grown-ups, from what HarborDojo teaches children at Spark & Anvil.

  1. Lesson 1Be the harbour
  2. Lesson 2Early help is help
  3. Lesson 3Look after the helper
  4. Lesson 4Talking about phones without a lecture
At the table · a parent and a teen, or two grown-ups practising

The harbour cards

You'll need: five cards: validate · ask · sit with · a small step · bring in an adult.

  1. One person reads out a made-up message from a struggling friend (keep it everyday: a bad grade, a falling-out).
  2. The other replies, using one card at a time in order.
  3. At "bring in an adult", name which adult, and how you would say it.
  4. Swap roles. Finish by each naming one adult you would go to.

Print the guidebook (all lessons + the table activity) →