Skip to content
Spark & Whetstonethe grown-up commons

← Mentoring a Young Person

Mentoring a Young Person

Three short lessons for a volunteer tutor or a family mentor: wait before you help, give the smallest hint first, and praise the strategy rather than the child.

Spark & Whetstone · sparkwhetstone.org/learn/mentoring-a-young-person · CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Answers are at the end, so you can try each question first.

Lesson 1. Wait three seconds

In the 1970s the researcher Mary Budd Rowe measured how long teachers waited after asking a question. It was often about one second. When teachers waited three seconds or more, students gave longer answers and more of them joined in.

For a mentor, the lesson is simple: after you ask, count to three in your head. The silence is where the thinking happens.

Question. You ask a question and your student says nothing. What do you do first?

  1. Ask an easier question straight away.
  2. Wait at least three seconds.
  3. Give the answer and move on.

Say it back. In your own words: what did Rowe find about waiting?

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Lesson 2. The smallest hint first

When a student is really stuck, help in small steps. Start with the least you can say: "What is the question asking?" Then a little more: "What did you do on the last one?" Only then point to the step.

Each hint gives them a chance to finish it themselves. The full answer is the last rung, not the first.

Question. Which is the smallest hint?

  1. The answer is 12.
  2. Multiply the two numbers.
  3. What is the question asking you to find?

Say it back. Say it back: why start with the smallest hint?

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Lesson 3. Praise the strategy

Praise tells a young person what you value. "You are so smart" praises something they cannot choose. "You tried a simpler number first" praises a strategy they can use again.

Notice confusion out loud, kindly: "That bit looked muddling. Shall we look at it again?" It tells them confusion is normal, not a sign they are bad at it.

Question. Which praise names a strategy?

  1. You are a natural at this.
  2. You tried it with a smaller number first. That worked.
  3. Great job!

Say it back. In your own words: what is the difference between praising the child and praising the strategy?

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

At the table: A fifteen-minute session

Players: a mentor and a young person. You'll need: one piece of their own homework or reading.

  1. Ask them to choose the question they found hardest.
  2. Ask one question about it, then count to three before saying anything else.
  3. If they are stuck, give the smallest hint you can, then the next smallest.
  4. End by naming one strategy they used.

Answers

  1. Wait at least three seconds. — Wait. Most of the time an answer comes, and it is often a better one.
  2. What is the question asking you to find? — Asking what the question wants leaves all the work to the student. The others hand over a step or the answer.
  3. You tried it with a smaller number first. That worked. — Naming the move they made tells them what to do next time. The others are about the person or are too general to use.