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← Coach by Questions

Coach by Questions

Four short lessons for coaching a child who is better at the game than you are: ask what they see, ask before they move, ask after they lose, and let them teach you.

Spark & Whetstone · sparkwhetstone.org/learn/coach-by-questions · CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Answers are at the end, so you can try each question first.

Lesson 1. Ask what they see

You do not need to be good at chess to coach a child who plays chess. A coach who knows less can still ask the questions that make a player look.

The best first question is about the board, not the move: "What is your opponent trying to do?" A child who can answer that is already thinking like a stronger player.

Then wait. The answer may take a long time. The waiting is where the thinking happens.

Question. Your child plays chess better than you. What is the most useful thing to ask during a game?

  1. "Why don't you move your queen?"
  2. "What is your opponent trying to do?"
  3. "Are you winning?"

Say it back. In your own words: how can someone who plays worse still help a stronger player?

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Lesson 2. Ask before they move

Many mistakes happen in the second after a player decides. A good habit is a short pause: before you touch a piece, check what it leaves behind.

You can be that pause. In a practice game, ask: "Before you move, what could go wrong?" Ask it the same way each time, until the child starts asking it without you.

The goal is that one day they no longer need you to ask.

Question. What is the point of asking "What could go wrong?" before each move?

  1. To slow the game down so you can keep up.
  2. To build a habit they will use without you.
  3. To show them that you can spot their mistakes.

Say it back. Say it back: why ask the same question in the same way, game after game?

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Lesson 3. Ask after they lose

Right after a loss is the worst time for advice and the best time for one question, asked gently, later: "Which moment did the game turn?"

Let them find the moment. If they cannot, you can play the game back together and stop at each move: "Was it still fine here?" They will usually see it before you do.

Never list everything they did wrong. One moment, found by them, is worth more than ten found by you.

Question. Your child has just lost a hard game and is upset. What helps most?

  1. Go through every mistake while it is fresh.
  2. Wait, then ask which moment the game turned.
  3. Tell them the other player was just lucky.

Say it back. In your own words: why ask about one moment instead of listing every mistake?

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Lesson 4. Let them teach you

The strongest thing you can do for a child who is better than you is to be their student. Ask them to teach you an opening, a trick or a plan.

Explaining an idea to someone else is one of the surest ways to understand it properly. When they get stuck explaining, they have found the edge of what they know.

Be a good student: ask "why?" and "what if I did this instead?" Then play what they taught you, and let them watch it work.

Question. Why ask a stronger child to teach you a chess idea?

  1. So you can catch up with them.
  2. Because explaining it helps them understand it better.
  3. So they will be less proud of being better than you.

Say it back. Say it back: what does a child learn by teaching you?

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At the table: The question coach

Players: A child who plays, and one grown-up. You'll need: A chess board, or any strategy game.

  1. Watch a game and ask only one question: "What is your opponent trying to do?"
  2. In the next game, ask before each move: "What could go wrong?"
  3. After the game, ask which moment it turned, and play back to find it together.
  4. Finish by asking them to teach you one idea from the game.

Answers

  1. "What is your opponent trying to do?" — Asking what the opponent wants makes them look at the whole board. Suggesting a move only works if you know a better one.
  2. To build a habit they will use without you. — The question is training wheels for a habit. Once the child pauses on their own, you can stop asking.
  3. Wait, then ask which moment the game turned. — Waiting lets the feeling pass, and finding the turning point themselves teaches more than a list of errors.
  4. Because explaining it helps them understand it better. — Teaching makes the child put the idea into words, which shows them what they really understand.